When you see a truly happy couple and are genuinely interested in what makes them tick, what is the question you are most likely to ask?
“What is your secret?” should certainly come to mind.
It is what everyone wants to know: the secrets, the tips, the one-sentence quote that can turn their lives around. Unfortunately we know that life does not always work out so perfectly, but that does not mean we should not try to look at the so-called “secrets” of happy couples and apply those lessons to our own lives – and our own relationships. With that in mind, let’s try to find the answer to “what is your secret?” right now.
Secrets That Don’t Sound Like Secrets
Sometimes, when you ask someone “what’s the secret?” the answer can be a little disappointing. For example, if you’ve seen someone who has lost a lot of weight and you ask them their secret, they might tell you something simple – diet and exercise.
Your reaction? Thanks a lot, buddy.
But when the person is answering your question, they really are giving you the “secret.” At least, the secret as they perceive it. They’re telling you the fundamental principles that they stuck to, enabling them to make the necessary changes in their life and meet their goals. It works the same way for relationships in many cases.
Consider a word like commitment. Commitment might sound like a cliché to a great deal of people – and it might not sound like such a secret – but many couples will tell you that commitment is exactly how they’ve become a happy couple. By making their relationship a priority – something to be worked on – rather than simply another part of their life they don’t pay attention to, they’ve achieved goals others can only strain for. Their secret? Good, old-fashioned, boring commitment.
The Spice of Life
Of course, commitment alone isn’t enough. You have to follow through on that commitment to improve your relationship by actually treating your relationship with the right prescription. In many cases, that prescription is variety. It might be the spice of life, but it can also be the spice of relationships. Have you ever considered how when you and someone you just met go through a new experience together, there’s a feeling of bonding? That same principle is in action when you’re in a relationship.
There’s a lot of bonding when you’re out with someone and you meet new people, try new experiences, and even face fears together. Variety works. And sites like Kupple.com – where you can meet other couples for a range of new experiences – are exactly what you might need to inject a little variety in your life. And with variety comes the spice.
When a couple tells you that there is no “secret” to a happy relationship, don’t believe them. They’re doing something that works for them. But you’ll also have to work to find the secret that works for you – whether it’s commitment, variety, or a mixture of both.