For some people, romance comes effortlessly. They can shift from our normal lives to sweeping our significant others off their feet without feeling the slightest bit incongruous or – the worst fear of the non-romantic – cheesy.
Unfortunately, you’re probably reading this precisely because romance does not come effortlessly for you. In fact, you’re probably reading this because romance sans cheese is actually a big issue for you, and it’s starting to make having a normal relationship difficult. Celebrating Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, and popping the bigger questions without feeling nervous is, however, mostly possible as long as you’re willing to live your life by this guide. So let’s get started.
What Makes Romance Cheesy?
If you think being romantic is cheesy, then there’s bad news: you’re the one making it cheesy. You see, sincere and genuine moments of intimate expression are fantastic as long as you can ditch self-consciousness at the door. But if you can’t help but think what you’re doing is cheesy, then, well, it’s your perception that’s going to make it that way.
Here’s the rule of thumb: sincerity is never cheesy.
“But if I’m not naturally romantic, it’s all going to be cheesy,” you might protest. And this is a valid point. So keep reading, because the rest of these tips are for you.
Don’t Become Something You’re Not
Yes, we get it: you’re not naturally romantic, so how on earth are you ever going to pull off both “sincere” and “romantic” in the same sweep? It’s simple: do something that is sincere and romantic for you.
Many guys make the mistake of assuming that romance automatically follows a cookie-cutter formula: roses on Valentine’s Day, for example. Then they feel unnatural and stifled when they follow that romance formula.
No wonder. It’s not original, it’s not unique to them, and it comes across as cheesy not because of what’s being done, but because of who’s doing it. The solution is not to do what feels unnatural to you, but to make your romantic actions more authentic to your personality.
This will take some planning. But you have a functioning brain, so use it. Start brainstorming proposal ideas by visiting some creative ones on YouTube – just don’t steal someone else’s idea. Start writing down any Valentine’s Days ideas you get. Circle the ideas that best amuse you and strike you as something that your significant other will enjoy.
Suddenly, you’re planning romance from a thoughtful place – not the place of prepackaged Hallmark goo. This is exactly what you want.
Small, Unexpected Gestures Go Further than the Expected
Romance isn’t all about candle-lit dinners on the pre-determined romantic holidays; it’s also about expressing affection throughout your daily lives. So make the small and unexpected gestures that no one asked you to make and you’ll find these go even further than wowing your significant other on Valentine’s Day.
Again, do something that feels natural to you. If you’re a creative type, email her a love haiku during your lunch break. If she loves your sense of humor, leave her a note that reminds her of an inside joke or buy her a small gift that does the same. What’s important is that whatever you do, your actions show that you’re thinking about your significant other all the time. That’s romance, and it’s never cheesy.
“Here’s the rule of thumb: sincerity is never cheesy.”
Couldn’t have said it better myself. That’s the key to being romantic – be honest about your feelings.