If you have more than one friend who’s currently part of a “couple,” then you probably recognize what this article is all about. One friend is in a healthy relationship with someone who truly complements their personality – and for the other friend, the new relationship has been trouble since day one. It does seem like some couples are more likely to succeed than others, and if this really is the case, what does it say about your own relationship?
We don’t have a lot of Internet real estate to delve deeply into this topic, so let’s get right to it: what are the key concepts that separate the “we’re going to make it” couples from the “I can’t wait to move out” couples?
Sexual Chemistry is Overrated; Friendship is Underrated
Let’s come right out and say it: sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, if you’re basing a relationship on the sex you’ve been having, then you’re going about relationships the entirely wrong way. Friendship is where it’s at. And, yes, that probably sounds boring and simple, but the truth about many successes in life is often boring and simple. Want to lose weight? Diet and exercise. Want a better relationship? Find someone who can also be a great friend.
If you haven’t noticed, you probably don’t get along with everybody outside of your relationship. Some friends simply “click” with you better than others. It’s going to be like this when it comes to your romantic relationships, too, and no amount of sex or rock ‘n’ roll is going to change that fact. If you like hanging out with your significant other without the specter of sex hanging over everything, then that’s a good sign you’re more likely to succeed than many other couples.
Complementing: Better than Commonalities?
Have you ever seen the episode of “Seinfeld” where Jerry finds a woman that’s just like him? They have a ton in common, and at first, he’s enamored by her, even asking her to get married. But eventually he realizes that he can’t be with someone who’s just like him. The real world is often like this, as we tend to emphasize the commonalities while forgetting that a complementary relationship can be even more important.
First, it’s important to acknowledge that we have flaws. And our relationship should help us grow and escape those flaws – not find other people with the same flaws! Complementing each other is important because two people can better be together as one cohesive unit – forgive the military parlance – when they fill each other’s flaws better than they highlight them. Sometimes, opposites really do attract.
Be wary of the couple that seems happy at first because of commonalities but share too many of the same defects: they might not be as likely to succeed as you think. Instead, look at couples where each person brings their own strengths to the table, and you might spot a couple destined for success.