Is It Okay to Share Relationship Issues with Friends?

By | October 7, 2011

Let’s be honest – some of us like to talk. We open our mouths with less thought about what is going to come out than others, and we enjoy other peoples’ company because the presence of others can be therapeutic. While this can lead to a vibrant and healthy social life, it can also mean you occasionally put your foot in your mouth. And sometimes, you simply give away information you shouldn’t be giving out.

But understanding where “the line” is when it comes to giving out intimate relationship issues means you’ll have to give some consideration to your significant other – the person who might not be so pleased that you’ve told other people about your relationship problems. Even when you share details about your relationship with friends because you want helpful advice in order to strengthen your bond, you sometimes take one step forward and two steps back precisely because your partner didn’t want you to “go blabbing around town.”

So that leads us to one very important question: is it okay to share relationship issues with friends?

You’d be surprised at how many different opinions there are about this topic. Consider:

· Some people think that a relationship should always be aired out, that the intimate details of your life need to be shared in order to have trust with a friend who shares their intimate details, in turn, with you. There’s plenty of evidence to support the theory that this is a good idea – but if it ruffles feathers on the home front, then you may run into issues.

· Other people think that private matters are just that – private. In the example given above, this is the person that’s on the other side of things, the person who’s uncomfortable when they hear that you’ve told your friends about your relationship problems.

It’s important to understand there’s really no “right” or “wrong” here. It’s more of a matter of personal preference. Of course, it is possible to slide to either extreme: blabbing about personal details to anyone who will hear them isn’t a good idea, nor is always keeping your problems to yourself. Sharing private details is about striking a balance between seeking support and maintaining your privacy. True friends understand when you can’t share certain details, just as true friends will be there to support you when you do ask for help.

It can feel like a delicate balancing act sometimes. And maybe it will be. But if you know enough not to venture too close to either side – and you know enough about your significant other that you don’t give away more than they think you should – then you’re going to be able to live with that balance. If you don’t know where to start, remember that sites like help you find couple friends who you can share details with.

One further tip: If you wonder about how to find more relationship counsel when you’re really on the rocks, it’s probably time to see a relationship therapist rather than simply ask your friends for advice all the time. That’s an appropriate and helpful setting that will allow you to share the most intimate details without worrying about word “getting out.”

– Staff

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